glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
