I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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