Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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