Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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