I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
