I got chris browned last night
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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