I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
