well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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