I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Michael Bay diarrhea
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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