I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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