Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you never un-have a 4some
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
