you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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