I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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