so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im about as happy as oj after his trial
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
