You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
