Don't you send me to vm
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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