she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
