All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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