He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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