i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
