Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're a waste of cheezeits
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
