I cannot find my penis.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
