I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
