Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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