Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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