I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
