My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
