so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize