So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
