nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
