I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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