# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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