we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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