i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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