I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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