i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
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I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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