I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
