You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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