Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize