She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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