only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
