i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
