If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
