Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
