PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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