can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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