to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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