yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
