a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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