We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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