i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
