you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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