so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
