found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize