Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
