Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
