I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
