My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're like the curious george of whores
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
